02.24.2012 I'm BAAAAAAACK.

I was locked out of MY OWN blog - hilarious!! I guess when you become a slacker and haven't posted anything since um....well since the first day of school....the blog fairies remove all evidence that you were once a blogger.

Harumphhhhhh!!!

I think the absence is mainly due to my S.A.D. / depression ...........whatever. But when fall/winter starts to go away, and the sun comes out I seem to be able to once again operate. The days are starting to get longer. Despite the 3 inches of snow we got Weds night, it is sunny (albeit windy as heck) and my soul is dancing.

I have a smile on my face that can't be wiped away by looking at dirty dishes, horse poop or piles of laundry. It's been a couple of weeks so I know it's not temporary. All things seem "possible" or at least "Do-able" once again. Thank you LORD for allowing ME back.

Despite my crazy ailments that do not allow me to function in the winter months, I just don't know what to attribute all of my newfound joy to. Personally i KNOW what (Whom) it is. Hard to explain, but things that would cause me extreme anxiety - well they just don't. I have a calming peace that is incredible. While my husband spends many sleepless nights fretting over our latest "situation" I know it will all work out and I have an incredible peace about it. I also thank you Lord for Chai Tea....

I have NEVER been able to tolerate caffeine (soda, coffee, whatever) but I have recently found Chai Tea which has become somewhat of a new indulgence for me. The smell and flavor is music to my tastebuds and strangely I can handle the caffeine without serious jitters or fainting or whatever. Not long after I began to "function" and cope better, I emabarked on my near daily Chai experience, and it has amplified that calming effect (as well as helped me to be a speedy cleaning force around these parts). I am babbling. Probably none of this makes sense...except to me. But the end all / do all is less meds, more happy, and more productivity. I also slept 13 hours last night (due to a near migraine) and that seems to be icing on the very lavish cake. **smile**

But truly, it isn't the Tea - I think it is my guardian angels pulling me out of my slump and setting me back on my feet. Whatever it is...WHOMever it is....I am just happy as all get out to be ALIVE again.

But dont ask me to catch you up on the last 5-6 months....lets just say as usual too much has changed on this roller coaster ride. As I often joke, I think it is safe to say that about every 3 months something completely life altering takes place in our lives. We take a 180 degree turn and it is something new. You gotta be sharp and hang on tight for what comes next around here. Makes it hard to stay on my toes - especially when i am emotionally "not well"....but I am learning to hand over the reigns because "I can handle all things through Christ who gives me strength". If it weren't for the trials would I ever look UP and acknowledge all that is Good and how much I am truly Blessed? Unfortunately I know that answer has mostly been "Not Likely" too often. I fall then get back up. And He is there to help me up every time. Every.Single.Time. I don't deserve it. But He loves me anyway. It makes me feel that all things are possible, that if I listen for direction I can never fail. I am not in control of my life, and as soon as I loosen the reigns on what I want, the Blessings are poured out in abundance.

So I am going to go basque in the glory of today.
I am Thankful.
I am happy.
I am ALIVE.
I am Blessed.
I am Loved.

It's puppies, kittens and rainbows around here sisters! (family joke)